Dear Small Dog Owners

Dear small dog owners,

As a fellow dog owner, I understand. We love our dogs like children.  I get it. We baby our pets but us big dog owners? We get the glances from parents when the dog edges towards their kid. We hear the “don’t pet the big doggy’ lines. But tiny dogs?   They are ‘so cute’ and can’t hurt a fly right? You can carry them in your purse like a pack of fucking gum. You feel that since your dog is small, he/she can do whatever the fuck they want.  Bark non-stop for hours? No problem…it is a ‘little bark’.  They freak their freak when they see other dogs? No problem…you let them run all over the place and pull the ‘flexi’ leash because they can’t ‘do any harm’. Nip at people? No problem…they don’t ‘hurt’. Well ya know what else is ‘little’? My size 6 foot…and I can drop kick a pomeranian like fucking Vinatieri.



4 thoughts on “Dear Small Dog Owners

  • May 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

    HAHAHAHAHA! I traded in my bad-ass Shar-pei (after she passed away) for a little yapper and truth be told, she is a PAIN IN THE A! Still not potty trained, the yapping is crazy and she literally has apoplexy with excitement when people come to the door.

  • May 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Amen! We call them kick dogs in our house.

  • May 9, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    My next door neighbor has come tantalizingly close to getting punched in the face for his yappers. I’ve said for a while now that if they ever wake Isaac up there will be hell to pay. I can’t prove to myself they have so far so he’s been safe, but they are some of the most annoying dogs ever.

    I think the biggest problem with little dog barks is it’s so high pitch that it’s much more irritating (to me at least) than a low bark of a big dog.


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