Knixwear: The true definition of lady problems

Warning: Male readers, I suggest you just stop now. There really is no point to keep reading. I don’t care but you will probably say “NOPE” at some point in here so I am giving you fair warning. Choose your own adventure instead and choose an old post from the following:

How Cool Playgrounds Used to Be

How to Make Multiple E-mail Addresses from One

Murphy’s Law

Go now. I’ll wait.



Ok ladies, let’s just get to the point here. Babies? Babies destroy your pelvic floor. Not everyone has this problem but a lot do. It is also something our mothers were too shy to talk about. Well, you know me. I talk about ALL THE THINGS. So much so that I shared the story of my issues while pregnant to raise awareness.  I pissed myself…a lot more than I would like to admit. It was awful and embarrassing but there just wasn’t much to do about it with a baby on top of all my organs. So a little update there. After Oliver, it got WAY better. He was a lot of pressure on my lady bits and there wasn’t much I could do while gestating. I just bought Poise pads and moved on. When he left the premises, it was almost immediately better. I didn’t feel the need to go back to the doctor to discuss surgery. Now all that being said, it isn’t perfect.

Knix Wear Lace ThongLike when Landon said he wanted to jump on trampolines for his birthday (Defy Gravity is really fun BTW), I had a small panic. Jumping? GULP. Many moms were sitting on the sidelines, and much to the dad’s dismay, it wasn’t because they forgot a sports bra. Life below isn’t what it was in my mid twenties. Nope….and it never will be again. But? It is manageable.

Then a few months back, a company contacted me about their kickstarter like campaign for “high-tech knickers” to help with such a problem. THAT sneeze. THAT time you tried to do a jumping jack after coffee. You know the one.  When you crossed your legs and blushed. Well Knixwear claimed to be “A thin yet super absorbent gusset, it wicks away moisture and naturally eliminates odor, keeping you feeling fresh and dry all day long – without the feeling that you’re wearing anything other than your most comfortable pair of undies” SOLD. I immediately said I would be happy to try. With a running habit looming, I was sure I would need some help.

So a few months ago (I’ve been busy…dammit), they told me to choose from their selection for a review. I immediately clicked on the athletic fit to combat the running whoas that were sure to come on longer runs. But I hit a big WOMP. They only had them in boyshort and thong. Um. No. I don’t run in thongs and boyshorts are just like made for camel toe. I have never understood the appeal. Bummer. I wanted to try them in that environment for maximum review material. Back to the drawing board.

Then I clicked over to the lace. SWOON. A waist band that lays flat and doesn’t dig into me? SOLD. On top of that, it is just really cute. So I ordered that one and waited. When it came it was just what I had hoped. The material is definitely more substantial than my Target selections but not bulky. You can just really tell a difference. And no one wants a bulky thong….just no. It fits like a glove and makes me feel cute. HIGH FIVES! But then the real problem hit….::record stops::

How do I review a sexy thong noted to help with….ahem….moisture?

I_need_a_nap_time_playlist._What_would_you_put_on_yourThe original issue I had was with exercising and reduced muscle control. As I said before, I don’t exercise in thongs so I needed a new source of wetness. ::insert patent-pending smirk:: That’s right folks. I needed to get “ramped up”. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU. INTERNET! So what did I do? I waited for a lovely weekend day and I picked up my phone, popped in some ear buds and did a little light reading. Then? I waited for those kids to get their butts to bed. Then? I pounced. And some of your may see this as cheating but nothing is sexy like “Hey honey, I need to test the material in this thong. Bring your A game. Imma blog about it later.” I took matters into my own hands. I am nothing if not thorough when I do reviews ::brushes shoulders:: In the end, everyone won so YAY.

Let this also serve as a friendly PSA to you mamas rushing this way and that…self care ain’t just all about pedicures and solo trips to Target, if you are pickin up what I’m puttin down. But I digress…we were talking about underpants here…

So in short, it definitely worked. Hopefully you can relate to what I am saying. It wasn’t the same “issue” you can run into with damp drawers (not right at post baby because lawdy that is another awkward topic). On top of that, the material doesn’t stretch out to get baggy. I know I have had that issue with some thongs before. Overall, A+ rating from me. My only con would be the cost. I recieved mine as a gift to test so I didn’t have to put down the cash but I can probably say I wouldn’t pay $28 for a thong that is ultimately just gonna end up on the floor (or lamp, or couch or….you get the point here). I maybe would for a bikini cut for running. I would view it like investing in a good sports bra at that point.

So hopefully this post {this most awkward thing I have ever written} can prove helpful. Whether that is buying these fancy panties or gettin laid tonight. I provide a service here, PEOPLE!

Be sure to check out Knixwear on their website. They have different cuts beyond lace and athletic like curvy and a simple seamless look. Their science behind it all it pretty interesting and we know I am a fan of great engineering 🙂 And their mission is pretty darn simple “We believe it’s time your underwear did more.” More power to them!

BONUS: The models used for Knixwear are REAL women. Mom tummies and no required thigh gap. HIGH FIVES, LADIES!

Wanna talk about this more? I’m all ears. Contact me and I will be happy to talk in more graphic detail…that’s what friends are for, right?

9 thoughts on “Knixwear: The true definition of lady problems

  • November 18, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    HA! that’s all I can say. Oh wait- maybe I’ll say this too- who is the one that completed the “sniff test”

  • November 20, 2013 at 11:44 am

    This is an AWESOME review. Love the straight talk.

    • November 20, 2013 at 1:21 pm

      It’s a service I provide. #vaginatalk

  • November 24, 2013 at 12:42 am

    Awesome review and then some. Glad you enjoyed all the prep for it!

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