Let’s Talk PPD {Part 2 of 2}

Welcome to Part 2 of my talk on PPD.  You can see the first part here. Thanks for all the kind words. Means a lot.

So now you have the backstory. I am back to my chipper, energetic self…with a toddler. So I guess it is curbed some :).  I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I am on the other side…and it rocks.

Mann Family

Total toddler mom in my element

I can now say I am a toddler mom. I love it. Yeah potty training is killing my back and the tantrums over stickers make me want to punch a kitten but he can be reasoned with.  He can tell me something hurts.  He can say ‘I love you’ and ‘I sorry mama’. All the things you long for with an infant. What you howl into the night when they won’t.stop.crying.  I have come to terms with not being an infant person. Yes I love my offspring and I want to sniff newborn goodness but it is hard. Harder than anyone could have explained to me. No book.  No blog. No family member. Ya gotta live through it.  That is what my stubborn ass needed. I am too independent to not learn it on my own.

I reread one of my breastfeeding posts recently and remembered my mantra that first week was “I can do anything for 20 minutes”. Well now I know I can do anything for one night, 1 week, 1 month, etc. Everything really IS a phase. They will sleep. They won’t get ruined by swing naps. They will eat when they are hungry…and sometimes that will be constantly. But nothing is forever. This knowledge of being a mom, and more importantly of myself, is my first gadget in my tool belt against PPD this go round. I have to survive the first few months by any means necessary. You probably won’t see crazy toddler dinners in those months…so sorry in advance.

Next up, I have support. Now I had support before but I didn’t know how much and now I have even more. I have a rockstar doctor (who I plan on talking with prior to birth).  A husband who knows the signs. A family willing to drop whatever to help. And new, mommy friends who know the ropes.  I have already been told by many friends to put them on the call list. Call to vent at 3am if needed.  Call for smoothies. Call for lunch dates. Call for baby holding. Anything to help…and I know they mean it.  I am lucky. So lucky to have this group of mamas I have met. They have been there with the sweet newborn snuggles and the psych ward and all are awesome moms.  Moms that I can say “this baby is being an asshole” to and they won’t judge me. They will bring me wine.  And I love every single one of them.

Toddler Moms

One of the many mommies in my arsenal (BA @heirtoblair)

I then have the support of my local community. I know the support groups, the hospitals and where to drive continously without stopping for car naps (answer: airport). I know where I can take a screaming baby and no one will care.

Then? I have Twitter (where I met so many of these amazing friends). Some are probably reading and laughing at me but that little free account would have helped me so much.  Friends at 4am? Check. Funny pictures of squirrels mid nursing? Check.  Moms to vent to and be validated and get reasonable advice? CHECK. Oh me and my iPhone will be closer then ever.

So to put it all together: I know myself better. I know when to say when. I know I am not alone. I know…it gets better. And that, I think is a large part of my battle ahead…the unknown isn’t there anymore. There will be bumps along the way and a caravan people to pick me up if I need it.

I am going to be ok.

Mom and Son

Pure goodness awaits

Note: If you are feeling like something isn’t right after (or even before) baby, I am here. Please feel free to contact me, Twitter or Facebook. One thing I have learned in the 2.5 years since having Landon is there is a whole world here to help you. I am actively working on sprucing up my “it takes a village” page with more resources. Know you are not alone.

*Special thanks to Mandy Powers for the amazeballs pictures that I use all over the place 🙂

25 Comments

  1. YES.
    I am here for you! And you don’t know this about me but I am a fierce baker so I can bring you cupcakes. And I will bring my camera when the baby is being an asshole.

  2. We will be going through newborn wild times at the same time. Will be there & available round the click bc hell I’ll probably be up too! So thankful for you & others in our group for the support!

    • BABY PALOOZA!!!!! we can trade them so we get different cries sometimes :). Pilot even has a third row. we can drive them around for naps together!

  3. You will do great! You do have a lot of support. I dont have much family down here, and I survived having Jocelyn as an infant and Julien being crazy! It is hard, but once you get ur schedule down, you will be the da bomb! If you ever need Landon to have a playdate with Julien because you are way too tired to deal with him, please let me know and we will make that happen!

    • Thanks Girl! We will be looking for playdates I am sure. Plus L LOVES Jocelyn too. He gets so excited to see her on buggy rides. He runs to touch her feet and say “hi Jocelyn”. It is adorable.

  4. Thank you for this. Really. I had bad PPD after my daughter (now 2) was born. It didn’t go away for almost a year. I am now pregnant with baby #2 and have been really scared of the PPD. I *think* it will be easier this time around because I know what I’m doing more. And, I know the crying will stop and that it’s okay to formula feed if I can’t breastfeed and… I could go on and on…
    I still worry though. And knowing that someone is always there (no matter who that may be) and won’t judge you for feeling like utter crap is reassuring.

    So, thank you.

    • Oh you are so welcome. So happy to know it helped someone. I think knowing your lifelines is really important. I could easily have a harder baby…who knows. It could be COMPLETELY different but I still have people to help. To swoop in and bring me back from spiraling. And I know when to call uncle and let them. I hope it goes easier for you. Please feel free to contact me anytime here.

  5. Thank you so much, after suffering from PPD after the birth of my now 19 month old I’ve been nervous about developing it again with our second (due in Aug.) this post is just what I needed to read 🙂

    • You are very welcome and thank YOU for speaking out. Start creating your security net now. It’s more important than nursery colors and layettes. You know the signs and make sure your partners in crime do too. Good luck and please contact me if you need to chat!

  6. Again…thanks for writing this! You Rock & if you need to send out random tweets I am here. If I was closer I would come play Toca Boca or Trains with Landon and hold the baby too!

  7. I’m not a big infant person either. Sorry folks, I will never volunteer to hold your babies, because you are right, sometimes they ARE assholes!

    I’m so glad my baby is 2 and I can’t wait until she’s 3.

    One day at a time right?

  8. if you need to talk to someone about something non-baby, count me in. or even if you want to vent — i worked in daycare for over 4 years & with kids outside of daycare for 5 more years, so even though i don’t know the breast feeding/pregnancy/post partum stuff, i know the baby stuff a little.

    also i just wanted to say that those 2 pictures are the cutest. THE CUTEST.

  9. I wish I had more friends around when my kids were born, but I luckily didn’t have PPD. Crying a few times for no reason at all was the worst it got for me. I am lucky now, even with older kids, to have a great group of friends who I can vent with, and they understand.

    And it’s so true what you said. They will eventually sleep. You won’t breastfeed for the rest of your life. They will cry, but not forever. But yeah, it’s the hardest. Ever.

    Love the pics, too. 🙂 Thanks for the linky.

  10. You’re absolutely right…nothing is forever. Most of the problems or fears I had with Alexa all passed (or really…changed) every three months or so. So as long as I could hold out for that 1/4 of a year I would be ok.

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