Mann Parenting Chronicles – Don’t Act a Fool at a Restaurant

WTF? Mom

I kinda pride myself on being completely open minded abut parenting stuff.  Next to beating your kids and serving them crack, I don’t care.  Everyone makes the decisions that work for their family.  I use disposable diapers but I admire the clothies.  I breastfeed while supplementing formula.  I did babywearing. I let my kid watch TV. I feel all the mommies.  With all that being said, I am strong in a few parenting choices.  I thought I would bring them up every once in awhile..ya know…to get everyone all rilled up.

Don’t Act A Fool When at a  Restaurant

You know what I am talking about.  The kid jumping in the booth.  The kid running under tables. I can’t stand that shit.  Little Mann fact here: K and I are both only children.  That means no brothers and sisters to keep us entertained.  We spent long dinners at the table…with our parents.  I know with me, I was expected to not act a fool. If I started something, it just took a “do we need to go outside?” talk and I got my shit together. I know some days kids can be terrors but guess what?  DON’T TAKE THEM TO A RESTAURANT. We have had days when we planned to go out but LT woke up from a nap and was just ugly. We didn’t go.  And this isn’t all about the other people in the restaurant but it is teaching your kid some boundaries. I know when we go out, I am prepared to snatch his butt up and go have a chat. If you think going out to dinner with a toddler is supposed to be relaxing, your doing it wrong. Now as much as I want to just rant, I have some tips on keeping their shit in check:

  • Pick a restaurant with a short wait.  I am not saying fast food but don’t go to a 5 course dinner with a 2 year old.
  • Bring snacks.  Most of the time, LT doesn’t even eat form the menu.  I throw some hearty well loved foods together before we leave.  That kid will do calculus for a pretzel and a few yogurt raisins. If they are hungry, feed them.  Another option, ask for their food early.  Everyone will thank you.
  • Bring an easy, quiet toy.  Crayons and paper, quiet trucks, a book, etc. This ain’t rocket science. When all else fails, iphone IN THA FACE
  • Don’t sit around too long.  I have seen this before too…where it is clearly not a fussy kid but a bored one.  The parents are there for HOURS…you can’t expect a kid to keep behaved at a table that long.

8 Comments

  1. Giving them a phone FOR THE WIN!!! That’s like an hour right there.

    Here’s another tip: Be a goddamn parent and deal with your kid before the scene gets bad

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