I Need A Sister Wife: A Guest Post by Laura Case
Next up in rants-while-Brandy-recovers week, my awesome friend Laura wants to bitch about doing ALL the things when her husband travels…and her thoughts on what would solve this dilemma. I just hope she doesn’t move to Utah.
For those that don’t know me, my husband Jon and I both work in software and we have twin almost 7 year old boys. I work on developing products while Jon is a bigwig on the sales/consulting/architecture side. He has traveled for work consistently since our boys were 3 months old. Since he travels to customers, we often get less than a few days’ notice of his travel, and he often travels internationally. We have no family in Raleigh, although our friend network is like family.
When I mention that my husband travels (a lot) and that it’s hard (real hard, yo) people often give me tons of tips and suggestions. The most common is that I should hire sitters to help me. I don’t need systematic help in the mornings or evenings. Believe me, after almost 7 years single parenting for long stretches, I’ve got my system down. What I need is help I can call at any time, for any need, like family.
During Jon’s trip last week to London, I started to read The Lonely Polygamist, a novel about a guy with four wives. When I lack sleep and Jon, I get a teeny tiny bit crazy. As I read the book, it hit me:
I NEED A SISTER WIFE.
She could run the errands I normally run on my lunch break so I can go to the gym. Drop off/pick up stuff at school, like the science fair experiment or grabbing forms for the PTA committee I chair. Babysit the kids when they are sick so I don’t burn my vacation days. Make the phone calls to schedule doctors, dentists, hair cuts, sports signups, vacations, etc that I can only do during business hours.
Don’t get me wrong people. I still would like my sister wife to meal plan nutritious all-organic all-local meals, procure those groceries, cook the meals, and clean up. I would still like her to do the laundry, pick up the house, and do yardwork. Maintaining the family calendar to remember Friday is Spirit Day and don’t forget the 100 things! and send in that form on the right day would also be required. Unclog toilets. Take out the trash.
Her job – getting shizz done so that I’m not continuously doing something for someone else from the hours of 7AM until 10PM (minimum) every day that Jon is gone.
At the same time….. Jon traveled more in first quarter than he has ever traveled. 2013 has been brutal. AND I DID IT. I did it all, so I know I can do it. It would have just been so much easier with a sister wife. And I wouldn’t have had to unclog a single fucking toilet.
6 thoughts on “I Need A Sister Wife: A Guest Post by Laura Case”
oh man. i have SO MUCH sympathy for you. i do the traveling & ppl are always like “aaaawwww! it must be SO HARD on you to be away!!” and i’m like “um, i think it’s harder on steve, caring for an infant by himself & also maintaining his own work & studies as a phd student. and my trips are always planned WEEKS in advance. & never int’l. so … wow. you have my respect, lady.
you need a commune. fuck the whole “it takes a village” imagery … you need an ACTUAL village. one with people. who do stuff for you.
Of course we “can do it”, we’re women!! Lol! My question is, why can’t our husbands just be the “sister wives??!”
LOVE THIS CONCEPT! And serious props to you for surviving all that damn travel.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I once described myself to someone as a “married single parent” because with the Husband’s schedule that is what it is. If he’s not traveling his days are still long and he swoops in just in time to eat, give a bath, and read a book. That said, he does anything I ask when he’s home, really. He’s awesome in the dad dept. he just can’t always be home, I’m a pro at planning a mother-son weekend. Last fall was our most brutal yet – he was gone for the good part of six weeks. I felt like a robot by the time he got back. I just kept doing, and going, and repeating, and cooking, I was all energizer bunny, except my batteries were dead. It’s looking like he’ll be making that same trip for work again this fall. We’ve already discussed getting our regular sitter to pitch in and help me out to take out some of the stresses, cause see, we do these things to ourselves, he owns his own company and could tell a client no, sorry, no time but that means no money (viscous cycle I tell you!). So he knows that we need the help – it’s a matter of me not trying to be superwoman all the time.
I wish I had a Sister Wife (or at least a live in maid) and I don’t have a husband who travels. Mine is home latish some nights but nothing like you have. You are awesome!
I wonder how much a nanny/housekeeper would be……
OMG. Oh yes.
Listen, my husband does a laughably small amount of travelling for work compared to Jon, but I know when his schedule changes? Our house is a fricken mess- figuratively, literally, emotionally…all the “ly”s.
I just need someone to pick up my slack and not want to talk to me about it. Someone who does it mostly my way, requires little to no entertainment or conversation, someone my kids love (but not too much…cause I’m selfish), and someone who loves wine so I can pay them in booze and feel less indebted to their life.
Umm…that’s not going to happen, is it?