Next up in rants-while-Brandy-recovers week, my awesome friend Laura wants to bitch about doing ALL the things when her husband travels…and her thoughts on what would solve this dilemma. I just hope she doesn’t move to Utah.
For those that don’t know me, my husband Jon and I both work in software and we have twin almost 7 year old boys. I work on developing products while Jon is a bigwig on the sales/consulting/architecture side. He has traveled for work consistently since our boys were 3 months old. Since he travels to customers, we often get less than a few days’ notice of his travel, and he often travels internationally. We have no family in Raleigh, although our friend network is like family.
When I mention that my husband travels (a lot) and that it’s hard (real hard, yo) people often give me tons of tips and suggestions. The most common is that I should hire sitters to help me. I don’t need systematic help in the mornings or evenings. Believe me, after almost 7 years single parenting for long stretches, I’ve got my system down. What I need is help I can call at any time, for any need, like family.
During Jon’s trip last week to London, I started to read The Lonely Polygamist, a novel about a guy with four wives. When I lack sleep and Jon, I get a teeny tiny bit crazy. As I read the book, it hit me:
I NEED A SISTER WIFE.
She could run the errands I normally run on my lunch break so I can go to the gym. Drop off/pick up stuff at school, like the science fair experiment or grabbing forms for the PTA committee I chair. Babysit the kids when they are sick so I don’t burn my vacation days. Make the phone calls to schedule doctors, dentists, hair cuts, sports signups, vacations, etc that I can only do during business hours.
Don’t get me wrong people. I still would like my sister wife to meal plan nutritious all-organic all-local meals, procure those groceries, cook the meals, and clean up. I would still like her to do the laundry, pick up the house, and do yardwork. Maintaining the family calendar to remember Friday is Spirit Day and don’t forget the 100 things! and send in that form on the right day would also be required. Unclog toilets. Take out the trash.
Her job – getting shizz done so that I’m not continuously doing something for someone else from the hours of 7AM until 10PM (minimum) every day that Jon is gone.
At the same time….. Jon traveled more in first quarter than he has ever traveled. 2013 has been brutal. AND I DID IT. I did it all, so I know I can do it. It would have just been so much easier with a sister wife. And I wouldn’t have had to unclog a single fucking toilet.