With A Pregnancy Rebel Yell…

2 facts to start: People can be dumb and I am a total BAMF. Lets just get that out there.  It will make this easier to digest.

We all know the pregnancy no-nos. You can take them how you want. Most likely, you need to keep your damn mouth shut if you see one.  Unless they are downhill skiing while taking shots, zip it.  Most women know the major do and don’ts. If you start lecturing me about how I am jiggling my baby too much running, I will give you the stink eye and peace out. Fortunately not many people have said something to my face but I have heard horror stories. Sometimes I just wanna walk in Starbucks and order my husband’s latte with extra shots for shock and awe. Once again, I am a rebel.

So I thought I would confess  my pregnancy “sins” so far so you can judge/commiserate with me.

Running

Highlights

Coffee & Splenda (decaf...imma poser)

Blue Cheese (it's pasteurized)

Pilates

Sushi (california roll...calm down)

So what have you sinned with?  Funny story of someone confronting you? I wanna hear.

38 Comments

  1. So in picture #1, is that what the inside of a girls bathroom looks like (total creepo here…) or are you in some kind of awesome mirror bar? Seriously, what’s with the stools and why don’t men’s bathrooms have them?

  2. I guess I’m a pregnancy rebel too. I ate tons of cold lunch meat, drank coffee and sodas, and had a glass of wine on my birthday. As I stare at my perfect 20-month-old, however, I say “who the eff cares!”

  3. LOL BAMF! So confession…I eat a turkey sandwich every single day, so when I was prego and my doc told me to stay away from deli meats because of the listeria risk I cried, and then I cried some more. I bitched every single appointment about it, to the point that finally around the 5th month, the doctor turned to me and said, “If you want the turkey sandwich that bad, go and eat the turkey sandwich!!!” I went to the nearest deli right after that and ordered up a big fat turkey club and never looked back. I also dyed my hair on the regular because if I was going to gain that much weight I at least was going to not have roots!

    • Ha and my doctor said as long as it was shrink wrapped or if you microwave the shit out of it, you should be fine. I don’t have it a lot but sometimes I don’t have much of a choice at work…so I nuke that mofo.

  4. I started off with zero rebel -but by my third… coffee, occasional wine after 25 weeks, all pasteurized stinky cheese, zantac! cold meds! hot tub! lunch meat! highlights!

  5. I had to hide most of my pregnancy rebel things from my husband AND random ladies at WalMart. I ate the occassional hotdog or lunchmeat sandwich.I drank a cup of caffeinated tea a day. And I dyed my hair.
    I’m a “don’t be stupid, but everything in moderation” kind of thinkier.

  6. Oh, I ate Subway at least twice a week, it was my biggest craving. 6-inch turkey on wheat! Ok, sometimes it was a 12-inch… 🙂

    Also tuna, I did limit it to every other week or so,, but that’s not something I can live without!

  7. I was a good little rule follower until the pregnancy really went south – then there was nothing enjoyable about any of it except Diet Coke. Yes, Diet Coke and for a good 15 weeks. My kid is fine. However, it’s not a good idea to take one into an OB appointment. Damn pregnancy brain.

  8. I don’t know if mine counts or not since I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was 18 weeks along, but:

    I went out and partied at keggers & frat parties nearly every single night until I found out I was pregnant with my first. Sebastian is super smart and doesn’t have any health problems.

  9. I ate tuna. Seared. With rawness on the inside (twice.) Got highlights. Went running. Drank a glass or 2 of wine. Ate hamburgers without remorse. Ate a blue cheese dip. Ran a marathon the day before I found out I was preggers and downed that marathon with unknowning champagne. Bring it. Bitches. G$ is so far pretty normal. Minus his gangsta name.

  10. The ONLY food I could keep down the first 18 weeks…. bologne and potato chip sandwiches on white bread. I ate about 10-12 of them a day. I can tell you that most lunch meat is safe for pregnant women 🙂

    I also wanted to be one of those cool moms who could drink a glass of wine while pregnant. While visiting my sister and family for Christmas, I took one sip of Jon’s beer and felt DRUNK AS HELL. I did not drink the rest of my pregnancy.

  11. awesome post; sushi, wine, Coke, exercise, lunch meat, highlights all in moderation; as I do anyway with all 3 of mine; and except for the occasional eye twitch 🙂 they are fine!!! I use to love to look up and down at the people who said something to me when I was visibly pregnant having a Coke; and just calmly asked them if they M.D. after their name had fallen off somewhere during the day because I couldn’t seem to find it on them when they were passing along their words of wisdom. I called them the Pregnancy Police….damn them!!!

  12. When I was about 7 months pregnant, we were going to a party and stopped to buy a bottle of wine for the hosts. At the check-out counter, the salesgirl gave me a weird look and said, “Well, I’ve heard that a glass of wine can be okay now and then towards the end…” IT’S NOT EVEN FOR ME. Jackass.

    I was totally on the cheese train too. It’s actually really hard to buy UNpasteurized cheese in the U.S. unless you’re at a fancy place! I figured I was fine at Chipotle 🙂

  13. I was publicly shamed in the coffee shop one day…..and I had tea in my cup. Douchenozzles. You can imagine how nice I was when they told me I was “creating a child with ADD and if I didn’t care maybe I shouldn’t be a mom”. It. Was. AWESOME. After I fake cried, I asked them if my decaf herbal tea had been proven to cause ADD, and if they could point me in the direction of the study when I removed my fist from their face.

    I went and bought a LARGE bottle of tequila as a gift at about 8.5 months pregnant, then made a joke about doing shots. At least the chick at the store had a brain and figured that maybe, just MAYBE, pregnant people know other non-pregnant people with whom they associate and potentially provide gifts for.

    I too did the pasteurized cheeses, the not so raw sushi, THE SLEEPING ON MY RIGHT SIDE NO! My WORST offense though? Was the occasional glass of red wine. I know, I should be tied and quartered but hey, if the French can do it, so can I!

  14. I’ve had three healthy little girls. In the course of the 27 months total I was pregnant, I did the following: ate lunch meat, drank red wine (even in the first trimester, knowingly, albeit very occasionally), drank copious amounts of Peppermint Tea (herbal, no less. the horror), ate feta cheese, spent 5 hours sitting down one-way on a road trip, went in a hot tub past my ankles.
    Know what I DIDN’T do? Take prenatal vitamins. Easy now, gremlins. I took a shockingly large number of vitamins specifically designed for me not to upchuck by my midwife. (read: uber-hippie)
    Everything in moderation & nothing to extremes.

  15. Oh shit, I read the comments. I didn’t take pre-natals either. Flintstone chewables all the way. I had to take an uber iron supplement anyway and Fred tastes SO GOOD.

  16. Great posts everyone…well, I always have a glass of beer after my kids are born to get my milk going…just cause I heard it works…but really I just need a drink…anyways…I always think that some of the rules are ridiculous…think of all the different diets people are on all over the world and even those in poor countries and they still have healthy babies…

  17. Let’s see. I ran until the day before I went into labor, ate deli meat (unmicrowaved!) a couple times a week, had my 1 can of tuna each week, ate feta cheese, drank an alcoholic beverage once a week from week 18 on, had either Diet Coke or my venti Starbucks daily, slept on my back until almost 30 weeks, that’s all that comes to mind now. Ben appears to be normal, but then again he’s only 6 weeks old!

  18. Turkey sammiches all day er’ryday! Well, maybe not everyday, but damn often. And chili dogs. And all of the above (except running, because I’m not quite that cool). One time a strange flipped out on me in a restaurant as I chowed on a salad with blue cheese crumbles. It was my first pregnancy and I thought I’d just poisoned my baby. Went home in tears.

    People suck. But you do not.

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