Worms…and not the healing, make you smart kind

We shall make your toddler a cranky mofo

There are many points I know Landon is going to look back at this blog and say “WTF MOM? Why did you post that?” I avoid nudity and don’t think he can do anything really embarrassing for his rep at this age. However, this is one of those posts he is going to HATE….but I can’t help myself.

Ya see, my child has worms. Pinworms to be exact. They have made my toddler a weird creature for the past 2 days. It all started night before last when he slept like shit.  Now after the terror of infant sleep, we have fared really lucky here.  So “slept like shit” is relative…I get that.

For us it was a toddler tossing and turning and ultimately asking to have his diaper changed at 4 am.  There was no crying or fussing.  Just wanted it changed. Strange.  We can’t remember the last time we changed a diaper in the middle of the night.  9 months maybe? So that was weird.  Then at 6, he is crying in his crib to be changed again. The heck? He wants cream. Ok? 10 minutes later, asking for another diaper change. Nothing looks off.

We seize the moment and convince the child to sit on the potty. Nothing comes out but he tried with no bribes or fussing. Soooo kind of a win right? He goes to school and doesn’t seem to bother him.

This morning? Repeat (minus 4am wake up call thank goodness). THEN the child starts RUBBING HIS ASS ACROSS THE CARPET (clothed…thank heavens) and asking to be changed again. OK …this is the point I go “we are gonna see a doctor”…or a vet? But since we don’t get a copay at the vet, pediatrician won. Over cheerios, I become THAT 21st century parents and look up symptoms on my phone and BAM pinworms. Go to the doctor and BAM pinworms.

So let me say, my kid is not gross.  It can be pretty common.  They can get them from just eating soil. It’s treatable with 1 pill over the counter. No serious issues. Not contagious. Just another weirdo kid thing. Now for the graphic part that made K and I snicker and fake vomit in front of the doctor like the mature adults that we are. The reason he only complains at night and in the morning is because they come out at night…to lay eggs. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH ::blech:: Even the sweet PA was smirking telling us then (I like her by the way). So if I have ever been happier to be using disposable diapers on a 2.5 year old, it is NOW!

As we left the doctor, Kevin noted that too bad it wasn’t the worms that heal you and make you super smart like Fry* got.  I told him I can make egg salad for dinner in case we want to temp fate…

The future has awesome bathroom choices

*Nerdy reference can be found here: Parasite Lost


  1. Oh cringe…for REAL. I have the creepy crawlies reading this (pun 100% intended).
    But I did NOT know they lay eggs. What the shit? (<- another pun?)

    Sorry future Landon, and current Landon too:(

  2. Poor kiddo. A friend of mine told me about the time her daughter had pinworms, but only told me in a roundabout way what that meant exactly. I had to google. EW. She was telling me about it the time we had lice, which although is not fake vomit inducing like pinworms, is actually a HUGE pain in the ass to treat. HUGE. I hope Landon never gets lice.

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