So this video went around yesterday. You may have seen it. It is actress Kristen Bell on Ellen talking about being surprised by a sloth for a birthday. She is clearly obsessed with sloths and she is an emotional mess by even the thought of meeting one. She is also incredibly adorable. I watched and I laughed until there were tears. It was the highlight on my Tuesday (well that and those delicious tacos).
Now a fun fact about me. I hate sloths. I think they are the most creepy things on Earth. I am not joking. I am borderline terrified of them. I can’t say I am really terrified of them because it isn’t like I happen upon them all the time. I am told there is one in the butterfly room at the natural science museum downtown and I stay the fuck away. Yes. I am that scared of possibly the slowest animal on Earth. Whateves. It all stems from a video we watched in the 5th grade about the Amazon. There they were hanging out in trees and then they showed those fuckers swimming. SCARED THE BEJESUS OUT OF ME. It was like that slow motion in horror movies. Giant clawed arms plowing through the water like some kind of circus freak. Never again have I seen one of these creatures and thought “awwww”. Nope. I can handle bugs, snakes, spiders and even episodes of Hoarders but these furry beasts have me shaking in my boots. So I imagine if Kevin brought me a sloth for my birthday, I would have a similar reaction video with crying and hiding in my bedroom…except there would be no party…only a funeral.