Today is a hard day

May 9, 2012

in facts about me,rant

I wanted to post today but I have nothing. I have like 10 things in drafts from toddler beds to sex but I just can’t post them today. I am struggling. I don’t know the last time I sobbed openly…but I did this morning and I feel just awful. I don’t want to rehash the past 12 hours of emotion I have felt and am currently still feeling. To put it kindly, I am spent. I am angry, sad, disappointed, depressed and trying so hard to not lash out at anyone. Yes, this is why my door is closed today, coworkers. I want to scream and I want to crawl in a hole. I want to say that I won’t be on twitter or facebook for a bit. I just can’t handle it. If you need me, you know how to find me.

But instead of just being super depressing for everyone ::jazz hands::, I want to share my friend Laura’s post today with a letter to her twins about today. She was right. It made me feel better…even if that involved more tears and nose blowing. People like her moved here and are going to help make progress. North Carolina isn’t a land of all hate and she is a beacon to prove that . I love you, Laura. (BTW she also took that amaze balls photo of me to the left there…I heart it).

Dear Nate and Alex,

Yesterday we had a very disappointing day in North Carolina. When your dad and I had “We Voted!” stickers last week, we talked with you about the upcoming vote. When we told you people were voting to make it even more illegal (because it is already illegal) for boys to marry boys and girls to marry girls, your sweet beautiful almost 6 year old minds were shocked and upset.

I refuse to say anything hateful or negative about the outcome. We are a family who believes in love. We are a family that believes that if you want a pink water bottle, you can have a pink water bottle. We believe you can wear jewelry, wear barrettes in your hair, and paint your nails fire engine red if that is what you want to do…. no matter what anyone says. We believe you are perfect just the way you are…[please keep reading].

Laura and Family

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Lindsay @lilloveandluck May 9, 2012 at 10:01 am

Hugs for the hard, honey. Thank you for sharing your friend’s beautiful words with us.

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TarheelJean May 9, 2012 at 10:12 am

Beautiful. It is up to all of us to teach the next generation to be kind, loving and compassionate to all.

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LauraC May 9, 2012 at 10:21 am

Thanks for sharing my post. It is hard to be kind and compassionate on a day like today, but I do feel like setting an example for our children will go farther than anything else. Yelling at people won’t get them to change their minds, in fact, it makes them even more convinced of their beliefs.

However if you want to spew somewhere, spew at the General Assembly. They are the people who put this on a primary where only the Republicans really had an interest in voting. If they wanted a true vote, they would have put it in the November election. It passed the GA by one vote, a vote the person later regretted. Let the lesson be to get INVOLVED in each step of the political process, not just the votes. Call your reps BEFORE things get out of committee. So many lessons from this election.

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Brandy May 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

Indeed

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Jess Liv May 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

thanks for posting this, i needed to read it.

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Brandy May 9, 2012 at 1:42 pm

you are welcome. i needed it too.

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Babe_Chilla May 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Rough day. I have to say I am in a strange position because while I am not happy with the outcome of the vote, I am also not happy with the sweeping generalizations being made about those of you who live in NC.

It isn’t the same kind of hate, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. The tweets and status updates about how awful it is to be in NC are infuriating me. How many other states have passed similar laws? And how many people voted against this amendment in NC? Does this one vote REALLY change the fundamental basis of your entire state? Does it nullify anything good that’s ever happened there?

I don’t think we’re seeing the whole picture here. Yes, I believe anyone should be allowed to marry anyone, but I think you believe that as well. So to condemn your entire state or for the vote to change people’s perceptions (like seeing things like “I always wanted to go to NC but now I will NEVER EVER EVER go there….. really?) bothers me.

Then again, if I say that aloud people are going to think I am against gay marriage which, I am SO NOT. One of my oldest friends was married just last year to the love of her life. It was a beautiful thing, for her to finally find love, with another woman.

All this means is that the people who are pro gay marriage aren’t voting enough because the others are so vehemently against it, they win. Their passion is just stronger. Misdirected, but stronger.

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Brandy May 9, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Thank you for that. That is really why I am avoiding the social world today. I am not around people to be all “Yay! we won” I am just tired of seeing the hate for the state. And to answer your question 30 states already have this amendment. So yeah…this ain’t new. Doesn’t make it better but it is to be said.

NC is still far more progressive state compared to most in the south east. Hell we were freaking blue last election people! As Laura put above, this amendment was designed so that it would pass. It was at a majority republican primary…by design. Not to say all republicans voted this way, which they didn’t…and I think that says something. Some of my most conservative friends voted against and that is progress in its own way. Even on the ballot, it was written to evoke emotion. The amendment had so much to it outside of gay marriage…and that is what really grinds my gears. People didn’t educate themselves. They say “gay marriage” in the media and ran with it. Not understanding who all they were hurting. So I am sad for the ignorance, the lack of education people put behind their beliefs. Sad that people let religion be the basis for their government views. It is so foreign to me that it hurts. Why it even matters to you if you don’t believe in gay marriage. Why does it matter? It effects you in NO way. You are just causing hurt for some moral you think you have.

But again thanks, we aren’t all sexist hillbillies with no IQs. We are people for and against an issue.

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Jason Steele May 9, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I have to say that I am glad you are happier and I can understand why you would want to take a break from social media.

I am so happy with what the POTUS came out and said today but I am saddened cause it may not have even helped if had happened long ago. There are some people out there that just have views that how should we say … “different” you could actually say hateful.

I had a comment prepared but I am going from the heart here.

Two Words: Love Wins. I pray that one day in this country we will all be looked at as equals.

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Jason Steele May 9, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I do have to say that being an Oregonian I was watching this political issue somewhat close. I don’t live in NC so I can’t say I know tons about all the fine print. But it was sad to see that an issue such as giving people equal rights in this country was overshadowed by the fact of what was happening on “The Voice” on Twitter.

Sad.

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Brandy May 9, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Thank you, friend.

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suzanne @ pretty*swell May 9, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I. LOVE. THIS.

Thank you for sharing it. Helped me feel better, too.

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