We all know mister Murphy and his ridiculous law, no? Wash your car to have it rain 20 minutes later. Fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm is supposed to go off. There are numerous cases throughout your life. I am here to say that parenthood ups your chances with this sneaky law 10 fold.
My prime example is this weekend. Ollie had a feeding at 4am and was back down around 4:40ish. He must have spit up or pooped or something because he was then restless for the next hour or so and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Around 6, he started to cry so I went to soothe him. He finally was down around 6:10. I got back in bed to then hear that Landon was up and playing. Better than crying but I sure ain’t getting any more sleep. I start to doze off and Ollie was up again. I called uncle and went to feed him with the goal being get it done quick and go back to sleep after pumping. Come down to pump, see breakfast, get hungry. Now not going back to bed. Eat, put things away to curl up on couch with Landon to watch mindless cartoons. Get on couch, baby is up. AHHHHHHHHHHHH
It seems like this happens over and over. Downstairs and baby cries out from crib. Finally get to top of stairs, he stops. Get baby down to sleep. Watch him for 5 minutes…no movement. Go back to bed. Head to pillow…WAHHHHHH! Finally put all the Cars shirts in the wash…epic toddler meltdown because he wants Cars shirt. Buy token character paraphernalia to have kid hate it now. See? Over and over.
So I opened it up on Facebook and Twitter to tell me your Murphy’s laws of parenting. Boy, did you guys deliver.
you’re just starting to nurse and the newly potty trained toddler has to go potty
you change their diapers right before leaving the house to go somewhere…and they both poop while your buckling them into their carseats in the driveway…..havent even left the driveway yet……
If you decide to nap when your child is sleeping, they will be up in 5 minutes. If you stay up (even though you really want to nap), they will sleep 3 hours.
Ask your three year old who is wiggling around like a lunatic if they have to use the bathroom, over and over and over, and they tell you “no” each time. Decide you can take a couple of minutes to use the bathroom yourself? He has to pee RIGHT NOW! (and we only have one bathroom…)
the day of the doctor’s appointment, the investation of symptoms that has been plaguing your child for a week because dermatologist appointments are like the holy grail of drs appointments…..the symptoms have voila…….vanished
@mannlymama You get ready to leave the house right on time when kid decides to have a massive poop which leaks out on his clothes. Bonus points if you’re holding him & you need to change your clothes, too!
— Devon (@barefoot_momma)
@mannlymama you get the baby to sleep and the big one wakes up
you pourcup of coffee and everyone in the house needs all the things and the coffee goes cold.
you put just your big toe in the shower and the baby wakes up.
you get the baby to sleep and he sleep dumps.
— Kate Sluiter (@ksluiter)
@mannlymama baby pukes or spikes fever on first (or any…) date night
— Jodi Bulmer (@JSBinNC)
@mannlymama the minute you start a fun activity with the older sibling, the baby needs something.
then there’s the crying in the middle of the night baby that wakes up the sibling. Finally get baby calmed then sibling comes back in the room waking the baby and starting the whole process over again
— Katherine (@LilMissRysMama)
@mannlymama You pump, baby wakes up to eat.
You and hubby start to get frisky, baby wakes up.
Baby naps, you clean, sit down to relax and 30 seconds later baby wakes up.
How about you sit down to nurse baby and realize a) you are starving or b) you have to pee. Did this so many times.
— Jessica M (@JNENM)
@mannlymama when mom is sick and Finally gets baby to sleep but wake her immediately when I puke baby gets showered in gifts that are played with for 5 min, but spends hours with a box and empty bottle spend hours toddler proofing the house only to have toddler run repeatedly into eye level dining room table no sooner schedule pictures than child will visibly injure face.
@mannlymama You are repaid for child-free night by child being awake since 1am & wanting only mommy for pillow for hours next day
— KeAnne (@KeAnne)
@mannlymama write blog post about toddler sleeping through moms morning routine, bragging it’s smooth. Start weeks of up early toddler.
— Babe Chilla (@Babe_Chilla)
@mannlymama the baby is finally asleep and some asshole rings the doorbell which makes the asshole dog go nuts
— ALin (@Banandrea)
@mannlymama Poo blow outs will only happen when you have no change of clothes.
— Amanda Clay (@newmomontheblog)
So what are your parenting Murphy’s Laws?
P.S. It took me hours to write this because every time I sat down to write, the baby woke up. That’s just plain impressive.