I have talked many times here about my postpartum depression and anxiety both with Landon and Oliver. I feel like by sharing my stories, I make someone else feel less alone. If my openness can help someone else realize they are normal or that they need to get help, I have done my service. One thing about my story that I feel like differs from some is how going back to work helped me be more in control. When all signs point to NOT adding to your life, I did and it made it better…both times. I am sharing that story over at Liberating Working Moms to hopefully reach someone who is looking for a “me too”.
“Being a mom is hard…working or not. We can all agree there. I can gladly state that the newborn phase of my children is the hardest (so far). While I don’t doubt my ability to mom or how good a mom I am, I know I have struggled with both Landon and Oliver as new babies. I also had great support to help me…and I know not everyone has that. As I stated in my other post about maternity leave, life at home isn’t for me. The colic. The crying. The long days of getting nothing done. The second time around was a little better knowing that it was a finite thing until I went back to work but still very isolating and scary at times. It wore me down.
I am willing to admit all this but I think some moms struggle with that. Sometimes that struggle is just a small nagging but sometimes it is more. Sometimes the long days with little sleep and so much frustration build and build. As hard as you want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is really faint. You get angry over little things and no amount of deep breaths help. You break one day and scream at your kid and then bawl your eyes out at what you did. People telling you “it gets better” mean nothing because while you know they are right, you want it better NOW.
What made it better for me? Going back to work.