I hate being exhausted an hour after I wake up.
I hate eating shitty food because I only have 20 minutes until the screaming starts again.
I hate that the swing takes time to start and can kill my chances at extending his nap.
I hate being short with Landon.
I hate not sleeping with my husband at reasonable hours of the night.
I hate seeing babies who will sleep in carseats in restaurants.
I hate rainy days when I can’t walk.
I hate the humidity too.
I hate my house because I worry one kid is waking the other, there isn’t enough room for baby crap and my stupid open floor plan of a first floor.
I hate when the wireless on my phone won’t work in the middle of the night.
I hate the phrase “by x week it will get better” though I know it is true for some.
I hate how my coffee gets cold 70% of mornings…in a travel mug…at home.
I hate the speed at which a car nap is killed when the car stops.
I hate that it takes me too long to get the stroller out of the car while he is still asleep.
I hate sweating so much.
I hate not having any consistency.
I hate the automated pharmacy message that keeps calling but I can’t answer it because I don’t have that kind of time.
I hate not having time for sex…hell a cuddle at this point.
I hate the tiny Lightening McQueen toy Landon keeps losing.
I hate that 3 of my best friends have to listen to me complain 24/7.
I hate that they live so far away.
I hate Starbucks for not having almond milk.
I hate that my dog seems depressed and it is most likely because I am a stressed mess.
I hate feeling the need to research sleep training when I know it won’t work. I just can’t funnel my energy into something else.
I hate how my feet are dry and gross but exfoliating them in the shower takes precious minutes away.
I hate wasting gas from taking the long way everywhere.
I hate feeling so hateful.
Today I am getting help so hopefully I can look at these more like the first world problems that they are.
*note I wrote this while clearing my head after a trying day…still doesn’t make less true.