I Am Not A Baby Person

Here’s the deal: babies aren’t my thing. They are cute and they have adorable tiny clothes but I am not a fan. I kept the 6 month mark in my head to get me through the sleepless nights, nipples of fire and general blobbiness of infants. I knew it would get better…just had to hang in there. The newborn snuggles are cute for a few hours but when you can’t sleep without someone touching you? The pumping. The clammy hands in my hair. The car screaming.ย Not my cup of tea. Anxiety like whoa.

Then the next 6 months was a little more fun. Sitting up, eating real food, keeping himself occupied and crawling were all fun. But then there is still 2-3 naps to coordinate around, making bottles and spooning purees. Better…but still not my forte.

Me? I’m a toddler mom. Rough housing, PB&Js, mornings spent at the park, when they fumble around and fall for no reason. AWESOME! There is plenty of sleep, a routine and sweet sweet independent play. They start talking and making funny faces. They can zone out to the TV for a few minutes {yeah yeah…no screen time under 2…hahahahahaha}. I mean look at this perfect example of toddler swellness.

Well we are seeing the signs of this and I am excited. We have already started pushing for 1 nap so we can get out and have fun. No more formula. Playdates.

I write all this because with Landon, it took me awhile to admit I didn’t really like the infant stage. I felt ashamed like I was just missing some girl gene. The thought of the “newborn smell” made me have a little PTSD. Once I started admitting it, more people nodded in agreement. People would say “just wait until they are walking…then it’s all over” but that is the beginning! When they start being little people with GIANT personalities. Those are the videos you can look back on still giggle. So it’s ok to not want to snuggle every baby you see. It’s ok to not want to have a baby nap on you. It’s ok to just prefer a kid that can kick you over being spit up on. I do.


  1. couldn’t agree more and have always be very open about it! yes, i love the little toes that curl when you touch the bottom of their tootsies, and the little smiles when you kiss under their arms, or those amazing little mush lips they get when they are sound asleep on your chest for an afternoon nap… but that is it. going to bed EVERY night not knowing how many times you’ll be up, dealing with pumping, wondering if they are screaming crying because of colic- or early teething- or growth spurt- or whatever! its the “year of the unknowns” and I am NOT a very good “unknowns” person…

    me… i’m the one digging with my hands in the sand to build a little pool for the hermit crabs i just took my 3 year old out to collect… and the one bringing snacks in the car for them to ‘feed themselves!!’ … and the one laughing as they spill an entire jar of sprinkles on the floor while making random tuesday night ice cream sundaes. i love the pure, unfiltered interaction…

    i too… am a total toddler mom.

  2. I could have written this word for word. Our youngest just turned 1 and I’m so excited that he’s getting into the toddler phase. I’m sure many years from now I’ll look back and miss the baby phase, but that because I’ll have forgotten the sleepless nights, colick (with my first) and painful breastfeeding. Older ones bring different challenges, but give me a toddler tantrum any day because I know what the rediculous drama is about and don’t feel guilty completely ignoring it.

    • In the future you can say stupid shit like “sleep when the baby sleeps” and “cherish every moment” like people do and make everyone feel guilty. ::head desk::. I love the point that when you can honestly ignore them and know you are doing something right!

  3. We have a three year old and a 4 month old. This whole summer I’ve stayed home with the baby (with all the naps and feedings) and watched my husband and boy go out and have fun. I’m getting through it only by thinking, “Next summer will be better! One nap! Walking! No bottles! We can ALL go out and have fun.” I love toddlers so much more than babies.

    That said, my daughter will probably turn out to be a Terrible Two, something my son never went through. But, still better (hopefully) than infanthood.

  4. I started reading your blog when I was a few months pregnant with my son. He is now 4 months old and all I can say is THANK YOU for your realness – you saved me from a ton of guilt! “Best time of your life” my ass ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Ugh god yes. Babies pretty much suck. I barely liked my own, and I REALLY generally don’t like other people’s either. I do love me some snuggles, but I get enough from my 17 month old now. I could do without his constant pursuit of trouble/danger but it’s a hell of a lot better than being covered with leaky breastmilk and spit up and not sleeping and ughhh just no.

    It’s tough being one of the only baby-haters in a group though. I’m going on what was SUPPOSED to be a girl’s weekend this weekend and one of my friends has to bring her 6 week old baby and everyone else was all “oooh yeah it’s FINE that you’re bringing your baby! We understand!” I do not understand…. why you thought you would ever be able to go to this weekend. With a 6 week old. Ugh. Also even more annoyed that someone *I* am the one that has to be in the same car as this baby. This is what is causing me rage this week. Hopefully I can get over it by the time the weekend comes. Or just drink myself into oblivion. Okay that’s all my ranting for today ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Your honesty is what I love about your posts! I have to say, I do cherish the baby stage and get weepy thinking about it being over before in the blink of an eye, but that’s me. I’m not going to apologize for being a big softie just as you never apologize for being who you are! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I also love everything about toddlerhood so at least I’m only weepy for a second before snapping out of it. When my son says or does something so hilarious it makes me excited to see what my baby girl says or does as she gets older.

    Thanks for always being so open and honest. Even if I’m not on the other end nodding with every word (which is rare b/c I usually am), I’m at least on the other end appreciating the shit out your candor!

  7. TOTALLY agree. I only have one kid, but when he turned one my life CHANGED. No more breastfeeding, adult-sized towels to catch horrible spit-up from reflux, more normal people foods, the list goes on! Babies are sweet and there are moments I look back on with my son and think of how precious they were. But more than that, I am LOVING his almost-2-year-old self. He’s like my little buddy! We the same, gurl. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. One of the moms from my New Mom Support Group hit us with a link to the 4-month sleep regression post, and I think I’m here for the day. (My kid, being the oldest in the group, has blazed the trail for the other babies’ ridiculous sleep patterns.)

    I never really wanted to have “kids”–I wanted to have “our” kid (for values of “our” to include whatever it took to raise a child together). I went through the shortest baby-crazy phase on record in my circle of friends. I can safely say, with my almost-4-month-old screaming at his father upstairs, that I am Not A Baby Person. I like kids. I LOVE when they’re old enough to talk. And once they can read? Man, then they are my people. But babies? Babies are hard. Babies are jerks. My baby is kind of a big jerk right now. He is enormous and strong and willful and too bloody observant for our own good. He is a baby and he is ours and we love him. But the next time someone says to me, “Enjoy all this because they’re only this small once and it goes by so fast,” I’m just gonna say, “Promise?”

    (I hated being pregnant, too, which was…an unpopular position to be in, at the time.)

  9. Just because you have a baby doesn’t make you a baby person. True that. Even though now with my little guy getting close to the 4 month mark (how I found this blog–didn’t know such a thing existed as 4 mth regression, but something was definitely going on-went from great sleep to 3 hr nursing marathons from 3-6a) and I’m an expert at the car seat and changing diapers in the dark, I still am not a baby person. Even though I spent the summer wearing bikini tops as my nursing bras (way more attractive and much easier access!!), and I’m the expert on my baby, I’m certainly not a baby expert. I remember going to Babies R Us to register and got freaked out by baby stuff–the high chairs, the packNplay, the swings–still make me nervous to think about that stuff. I’m not a baby culture person at all. And their stuff. Ugh. Big bulky and plastic.

    But damn, I do love my little guy’s laughs, and when he falls asleep on me, and even his stupid always busy fingers scratching me when he’s nursing. And while I can’t wait to take him places to do things, I don’t want to wish our life away either. I know it’s all transient, every stage. And we’ll never go back to any previous stage.

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  11. Thank you thank you thank you.
    I too am not a baby person.
    It’s a slog that starts to brighten at 6 months but by 18 months I’m in heaven! I love when they start to crawl, walk? Amazing! Run? Even better.
    I was always ashamed to admit it….
    I’m currently in the 4 month sleep regression with my second and am looking forward to the oasis of 6 months

  12. Thank you so much for this article…it made my day! People keep telling me to cherish the present (my son is 15 weeks old) because time goes by so fast and I think to myself "yes, please!" I love my baby but I can' t wait for him to properly show me what he wants ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • YES! To everything you’ve written. I’m currently in a recliner with a ‘colicky’ 3 month old sprawled across my belly. I have to pee, but I dare not move a inch or he’ll wake and it could take HOURS before he’s asleep again. This stage is super hard, and I reaaaallyy don’t like it. Give me a walking, talking, tantrum having toddler over this ANY day!

  13. THANK YOU. I just read this after my 4.5 month old spat up straight into my cleavage. He’s ridiculously cute, but absolutely everything requires my entire emotional capacity so I feel touched/talked out/over-stimulated all the time. On the other hand, my niece who is 19 months is wonderful to spend time with. I feel like I’m constantly lying to people when they talk to me about how great it is having an infant – nodding, fake smiling and forcing the artificial agreement.

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