The Tale of Ole Corn Nose

Mommy merit badges are a thing. I have lots of them.  I’ve got one for picking up poop with my hands. I’ve pumped, fed a baby and ate breakfast at the same time. I’ve pulled 70lbs of kid in a wagon around the neighborhood. I’ve had to take my kid to the dr for worms. My mommy badge sash is filling up quite nicely.

Today I got a new one and it’s a life lesson you need to know.

At 12:30, I get that dreaded caller ID. Daycare. I answer while wincing. “Yes”. Mrs. Dana says “Sooooooo I think we have a first”. Uh oh. “Oliver walked up to us a minute ago and said ‘I have corn in my nose’. And he, indeed, has corn up his nose.”

You have got to be kidding me.

So I head up to daycare to see if we can get it out. I really have no idea what I will do. Time to put on the mommy thinking cap.

I get there and he is perfectly happy and telling me about the corn in his nose. I look and I can see MAYBE a sliver of a kernel. He had it in both sides and I could barely see any. Le sigh. So I call our healthcare center (literally like a couple hundred yards away) and luckily they can see us immediately. I grab him to go.

In the meantime, I contacted The Thread in great motherly fashion with “This kid. I swear to sequins”.  Then Brandee says “wait! My niece did this with a peanut. Let me text my sister!” She comes back with this:

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Yup. You are reading that correctly. So as I walk to the car with a corn nosed child in my arms, I’m like “well I mean I have to try, right?” So I told Ollie “Mommy is going to do something silly. I am going to blow in your mouth. Can you do that?” So I tell him to open his mouth and essentially give my child mouth to mouth. It makes a weird gurgle and POOF: a piece of corn shoots out of his right nostril. Then I hold that nostril and do it again. POOF: another. He is cackling. I ask if there is anymore and he says no. I figured healthcare is expecting me and kids lie, so we head up there.

When the dr gets in the room and I tell him what I did, he gives me a high five “That’s exactly what we were going to do”. They checked and sure enough it was all clear. So I recommend storing away this nugget of info in your parenting brain because you never know when you need it.

I swear, y’all, we are so screwed with this second kid.

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6 thoughts on “The Tale of Ole Corn Nose

  • April 24, 2015 at 9:51 pm
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    What a cool trick. It almost (almost) makes me regret missing this particular badge when my kids were younger.

    Reply
  • April 25, 2015 at 7:30 pm
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    Love it! Reading this almost made me snort wine out of my nose. Way to go mama!

    Reply
  • April 29, 2015 at 11:07 am
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    Oh, the things we do for our kids.

    Though, as I was reading it, I was thinking “plug the non-stuffed nostril & blow” because, well, I’ve had to do it, too.

    Reply
  • May 2, 2015 at 2:47 am
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    This is so funny! And such a cool idea! I will have to tuck that one away for once my little man is old enough to figure out he can stuff things up his nose…

    Just found your blog and it is so cute!

    My Peanut Butter Problem

    Reply
  • May 7, 2015 at 7:03 am
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    My daughter put a tiny Lego in her nose once. Not quite sure why, but she did. That was the day she learned how to do a “snot rocket.” (We live in the north where it’s cold and snowy for six months of the year, she was bound to learn how to do them some day.) Glad to hear that Ollie is well and The Thread came through!

    Reply
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